Losing weight

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine."

He lost 63 pounds that week.

Prayers

This is a warning. Never force children to pray

At dinner, a little boy was forced to lead the family into prayer...

Little Boy: "But I don't know how to pray~~~~"

Dad: "Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc.."

Little Boy: "Dear Lord...." he started

"Thank u for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they wont come again."

"Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy's blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work.. AMEN."  

Mom and Dad did not have dinner that evening......

The gentlemen are all losers

Why losers? coz they get left behind
but I think good gals just want Bad Boys
huahahahahahahahahhahaha

Ambitions

oh dear~~~~~
>.<
*squint eyes*

Lies

Everyone tells white lies every now and then, some more often than the others. I don't always tell the truth, but I avoid outright lying as much as possible. However, I must admit I've used some of these... *oops*. Also, seriously, who reads every point in "Terms and Conditions"? Hee heeeee.... :P

Good God!

Wise words by my cousin: If men want good and obedient, they should get a dog! =D

at the Pearly Gates

2 men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation

1st Man ask the second: "How did you die?"
"I froze to death...." says the second.

"That's awful." says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man. "You get the shakes, and...you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.

The second man shakes his head.
"That's ironic." he says...

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.

"If you had only stopped to look in the freeze, we'd both still be alive."

How connected are you?

Has our lives been like this?

I am moving towards that direction in terms of connectivity
wherever I go, I need to be connected in some way
so maybe after all an island vacation is not for me
What say you?

What if.....

What if this is happening in Mars?
that the Martians are painting the impression that the planet is still inhabited and our dearie million dollar rover had been snapping pics like this?

hahahahha yes it's farnie but we can never know what's the actual truth out there
after all there was still this conspiracy about the first Man landed on the Moon
*read about it here*

if u do really have all the time, please go through the articles, evidence and weird elements like a waving american flag on the moon....errrr if there's no gravity/low gravity can the flag even wave?
ahahaha well just some reading materials for amusement :))))))

Murals

Mural of "jellyfish" in the toilet of an aquaria

well I painted murals since I was a lil gal in school
I m proud to have left prints and graffiti where I go
hahahhaahha, just kidding

but sometimes u need to think and plan properly when u apply paint onto the wall
for murals gonna leave impressions  and last for many many years to come
so those poor innocent jellyfish mural gonna leave a hell lot of impressions
WAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
yeah at the toilet sumore
:P

Robbing a bank

moral of the story is....watever that u do, please do a thorough check first
coz u don't want to be like the above.....
oh well..just for laughs :))))))))))))

REAL

Yes WE ARE REAL WOMEN
*with curves and all*
salute to Unilever for embarking on such marketing campaign for Dove

doesn't it makes u wanna support more of Unilever's brands?
visit the below link to learn more about Unilever and its group
www.unilever.com.my

Better Late than......

Oh right.....*rolls eyes*

Our own Society

hmmm we used to play Pet Society, Restaurant City and whatever games that are being launched by PlayFish
so I guess sometimes it's also time to start our very own society....
hmmm Roomies Society??

hmmm this is pretty good too!!!
since we love to mencaci ppl with such nonchalant sarcasm
:)))))))))

what do u think?

Cupcakes

Q: You have 13 cupcakes and someone asked for two, how many do you have?

A: 13

Q: Yes but what if someone steals two, how many do you have?
A: 13......and a dead body
Q: ................................................O.O.....................................................

Educators

I dunno what does it say....Mee Mee has got to translate this for us
Nee Lee, u sooo got to have a shot fr the back on how u write/draw on the white board
:D:D:D

AAA Battery

okie I am having stomach spasm now!!!!
WUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

this reminded me of my roomies esp Shell Shell where she alwiz had to run outta the room to luff when someone in the house tells a joke
coz it has to happen, that at nick of time where the laughter is about to burst...she has to be drinking water~~~~~~

HAHAHAHHAHAHA
hope this makes ur day :)))))))))))))

Poor Doggie!!!!

it's too small, so click on the pics to view a bigger pix
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
really poor doggie...

Domino

dop-dop-dop-dop-dop PRAAAAPPP
I lurve to stack cards this way when I was lil gal...
and watched in happiness as it destroyed itself

now that I'm an adult...I still lurve to stack "elements" that create the same effect
and watch as it destroy the target

ppl often asked, how did I do it and what it takes to do it?
emotionally, physically and most importantly strategically
and very often my answer was simple
it's just that situations is alwiz in my favour
if you are far sighted and think/look long term, u will alwiz be a few steps ahead of others
this is also what I called --> wisdom

and of coz prioritised your life
my happiness is my priority :)))))
I don't really give much shit and thoughts of what others say/do/react
coz the priority is not what they say/do/react
I am "sell-fish"....prollie I'll be a fishmonger in my next life
wuahahahahahahaha

but really....the point is...if it's not in your favour...change it
do something about it
and be responsible for your decisions and actions
it takes one to have some "balls" to face responsibilities
however once u have experienced it, you are able to take greater responsibilities in the near future
it also makes you a better person

so what you do to your life, will come back to you
just like a stack of Dominos...

hmmm so what am I gonna stack today?

Doctors on Strike

my Doctor friend sent me this...
and I had a good laugh
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

she said no wonder Doctors' protest are alwiz not being entertained coz nobody blarddy understand wat's on the protest boards :P

this particular doctor friend of mine was recently transferred from Urology to Maternity...work is no fun she said...and her only advise to me is not "stay healthy bla bla bla" but....."DON'T EVER LET UR KIDS DO MEDICINE!!"

okie babe...I get u loud and clear :P